From “Someday” to Now: How I Finally Published My Tarot Deck
- John Mothershead
- Mar 9
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 21
The Question I Couldn't Escape
For years, clients and colleagues repeatedly asked me, “Do you have your own deck?”
Each time, I lowered my gaze and replied quietly, regretfully, “No, not yet.”
The truth is, I desperately wanted my deck. I’d been secretly creating one behind the scenes for years—painting intuitively, experimenting privately, dreaming vividly. Yet, every time I contemplated publishing, I was paralyzed by obstacles that felt impossible:
Digitizing my acrylic paintings seemed insurmountable. Would the texture and vibrancy survive the translation from canvas to card?
Aligning my intuitive art with the structured symbolism of tarot was daunting. Could I remain authentic to my style and honor traditional tarot?
I had no clue where even to start. Traditional publisher? Self-publishing?
Manufacturing? Marketing? Every question felt like another roadblock.
Yet beneath these practical concerns was something more insidious—fear.
I Told Myself, “Someday.”
Whenever I imagined sharing my deck publicly, a familiar, critical voice echoed inside me:
Who am I to create a tarot deck?
What if my art isn't good enough?
What if I pour my heart into this project and no one cares?
Despite my years of experience as an intuitive reader, artist, and mentor, imposter syndrome had a tight grip on me.
I convinced myself I needed more knowledge, practice, and certainty. I labeled my hesitation "perfectionism," but really, I was just scared.
So, instead of taking steps forward, I procrastinated:
Waiting for the perfect printing method.
Waiting for better digital techniques.
Waiting to feel ready—whatever that meant.
But perfection was never the issue. Fear of failure and rejection was.
I told myself, Someday, I’ll feel ready. But "someday" never arrives when you wait for external validation to believe in yourself.
The Signs That Changed Everything
A turning point came when I saw my colleague Edna boldly self-publishing her decks. As I shared recently on her podcast, The Edna Energetics Podcast, watching her take empowered, decisive action was a wake-up call.
I realized that the difference between Edna and me wasn't talent, skill, or worthiness—it was simply that she had taken action.
Even still, I didn't know exactly where to start.
Then another powerful sign arrived:
My colleague Coco had also created beautiful decks. They were round, just as I envisioned mine, and impeccably produced. Feeling a sudden urgency, I went to my bookshelf—home to hundreds of decks—and pulled out Coco’s creations: Love Messages from Your Pet and Magical Mermaid Oracle.
As I inspected the boxes, a previously unnoticed detail caught my eye:
Wonderland Publishing.
Curious, I immediately looked them up. Initially discouraged by the costs, my heart sank—until a small pop-up appeared on the screen:
This was exactly what I needed. Without another thought, I clicked "purchase."
That moment felt like permission from the universe—permission I'd been waiting on for years.
Taking Imperfect, Empowered Steps
Bit by bit, week by week, I followed the course instructions. It wasn't always smooth or straightforward. There were moments of frustration, confusion, and lingering doubts. Yet, the difference was profound:
This time, I was committed to action over perfection.
Slowly but surely, what had seemed impossible became manageable—and soon, it became reality.
Angel Party Tarot was finally born.
What Signs Are You Ignoring?
Looking back, I realize the universe had been gently nudging me toward this deck for years—I just wasn't ready to listen.
Now, I ask you to consider:
What signs or synchronicities have you been dismissing or ignoring?
What dreams have you delayed because fear told you, "You're not ready"?
What projects keep calling you, even when you push them aside?
If you're feeling stuck, perhaps the universe is sending you signals. This blog may be one of them.
Tools for Overcoming Fear, Imposter Syndrome, and Self-Doubt
If you're caught in hesitation or fear, these rituals and exercises can help you move beyond them:
1. The 10-Minute Commitment
When overwhelmed, commit to working on your project for just 10 minutes each day. No pressure, just small, consistent action.
2. Flip Your Fears into Possibilities
Instead of asking, "What if I fail?" try asking:
"What if I succeed beyond my wildest dreams?"
"What if this project changes my life?"
"What if people truly resonate with my vision?"
3. A Letter from Your Future Self
Imagine yourself one year from now, having accomplished your dream. Write a letter to your present self describing how proud you feel, what you've learned, and how your life has transformed.
4. Embrace Imperfection
Remember: Done is better than perfect. Pursuing perfection keeps us stuck; embracing imperfection allows us to grow.
5. Find Your Inspiration (Expanders)
Surround yourself (even virtually) with people who've already done what you aspire to do. Witnessing their success can inspire you to step forward.
Learn How I Created the Angel Party Tarot Deck
Curious about the journey behind creating an oracle deck? Join me as I share insights, lessons, and the personal story behind bringing the Angel Party Tarot deck to life.
Whether you're an aspiring deck creator, an artist, or simply seeking inspiration to act on your dreams, this recording offers valuable guidance to empower your next step.
Final Thoughts: From "Someday" to Today
I spent years saying, "Someday, I'll do this." But "someday" kept me small, uncertain, and unfulfilled.
It took one moment of bravery—one small, imperfect step—to move me from "someday" to "today."
Whatever you've been postponing, let this be your sign to stop waiting.
Your vision deserves to be brought into the world.
I’m living proof that you can't wait for perfect conditions—you can take one courageous step.
The world is waiting to see your magic.
So tell me: What's the dream you're finally ready to say yes to?
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